Is it Okay to Spank?

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Is it Okay to Spank?

Many of you have probably asked this question. Is it okay to spank your child? Personally, I never have questioned it. Absolutely, I believe in spanking.

There is much debate today about whether you should or not. Bottom line: you have to do what you are comfortable with. You are the only one who has to live with the decisions you make.

Is it Okay to Spank?

You have probably heard many people state that spanking is against the law. This is not true. The law has placed guidelines on spanking to ensure children are not abused. Currently, all states allow parents to spank their children. You can look here to see exactly what your state has to say.

spanking-or-child-abuse

 

So let’s define spanking, also called corporal punishment. It is a discipline method in which a person inflicts pain on a child without inflicting injury and with the intent to modify the child’s behavior.

Pretty simple to understand I think. Courts have decided that parents have a constitutional right to raise their children as they see fit, including using whatever method of discipline they think is best. Whether by statute or by legal opinion, states permit parents to use physical discipline against their children as long as it is done in moderation and does not cause injury.

Spanking is a disciplinary measure, not child abuse. And it is my right as it is yours. Know your rights in all things. Go online or go to the library. Educate yourself. Popular opinion is not fact.

 

This is what I believe. Decide what you believe and then stand behind it.

 

Be sure to check for books on this topic listed here.

6 COMMENTS

  1. Dear Angela,

    I must respectfully disagree with the premise of this article. Believing something is effective does not make it effective. There is a lot of scientific data that illustrates why spanking is not an effective form of punishment.

    For example, this is based on the psychological principle of behavioral conditioning, which necessitates immediate consequence after undesirable (or desirable) behavior. How often do you spank your child Immediately (not 5 minutes later) following the undesirable action?

    This also does not address the issue of desirable behavior, which should really be the focus in my opinion. All spanking does for a child is create a psychological association between authority figure and physical pain. Of course the action won’t be repeated in your presence if the child knows that it will result in spanking. This is a band-aid for you, and it does not actually instill long term good behavior.
    Thank you for your time and for sharing your perspective on the issue. I hope you will consider psychology’s perspective as well.

    Sincerely,

    Meaghan

    • Dear Meaghan,
      I respect your right to your opinion. Thank you for taking the time to read my page. I find I must use your own words in my response to you. “Believing something is effective does not make it effective.” The same can be true for the opposite, believing something is not effective does not make it ineffective.
      You mention immediate consequence and I do agree with that. I personally have not spanked unless it was immediate action.
      I must also respectfully disagree with your statement that spanking only creates a psychological association between authority figure and physical pain. I was spanked as a child and I have love and respect for my parents. I believe it does instill long term good behavior.
      As I said at the end of this article, this is my belief and I urge everyone to research and decided on their own.
      Thank you again for your time.
      Angela

  2. I have used several forms of punishment for my children. Which form is solely based on the problem at hand. When I split with my ex-husband, there was a good six month period where my children were as unruly as they could get without pushing the boundaries. Most especially after returning from a visit with my ex. But while I used spanking fairly heavily during that six months, I also experimented with other forms to judge what type was most effective, as well as to each individual child (I have 3). There are many factors to consider when doling out punishment: the seriousness of the offense and the child who committed it being part of the most important. I very rarely ever spank these days. I have instilled my own count to 3 warning system, which now works quite effectively, as well as what I’ve deemed my own “mom” voice. It’s not yelling, or even loud at all. I speak plainly and clearly, in an extremely calm and cool voice, using words that they will easily understand and look them each in the eye as I do so. I command their undivided attention with this tone, and more often than not, I receive it without further incident. I cannot say that I do not yell at all; I have a soft voice, so I must be louder in order to be heard. But in the end, it works out.
    This is what works for me and my children. It took me months and months to get it to where we are now. My kids are still a bit wild at home (which is normal, I think), but when we are in public or at another person’s home, with or without me my kids are respectful and behave very well. And that’s the result I was working towards.

  3. Spanking does not teach children anything except that might makes right, that double-standards exist (do as I say, not as I do) and that deception is a more self-preserving choice than honesty. And it’s little more than an excuse for parents who are not willing to put in the time & effort it takes to parent.

    Hurting a child to alter their behavior is, at best, an uncivilized, short-term solution. Children learn by observing behavior and it’s up to us to model it for them. If it’s not OK for adults to hit each other then what exactly are you teaching them by spanking?

    • I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond. I respect your opinion and your right to express it. I respectfully disagree. Many people only associate spanking with abuse. There are plenty of people who use spanking as a disciplinary measure and it is only part of what they use. If a parent chooses to use spanking, that is their right as long as their child is not physically harmed.
      We live in a country where everyone has the right to speak freely as well. I always welcome everyone’s opinion and will always respect those freely expressed opinions. Again, thank you for your time.

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