One question I see a lot from moms: Is my child doing what’s normal for their age? Normal, what’s normal, I truly hate that word. Is normal what the Pharmaceutical Companies tell you what’s normal? Really? Well not in my book. They are way too concerned with profits.
Your Child’s Development The Great Hoax
What is normal?
When my daughter was first born, I had a wonderful ‘old timey’ Doctor. He was old school and would always say do what was best for her.
Imagine that, a doctor’s prescription is “listen to your child”. So different from today doctors who are so quick to prescribe a pill.
You’ll see signs when your daughter is ready for something new, he said. And rarely prescribed any medications. So that my daughter’s immune system had a chance to grow.
Now that’s normal, if you ask me. At least in my book.
Here is a great article I thought that illustrates what you can expect. It talks about what is typical. Explaining from the beginning: “We’ll give you an idea of what’s typical, but don’t forget that all babies are unique and develop at their own pace”.
The author has put emphasis on times when your baby might start to roll over, play games and imitate sounds.
Baby development month to month is different for every baby. You will see the signs when he/she is ready to use a spoon or start taking steps. You can begin encouraging those developments as you see your child reaching for the spoon when you try to feed them or they begin to pull themselves up by grabbing hold of furniture.
Your doctor can provide you with guidelines for your child’s development. Keep in mind no child fits perfectly into any one category.
Here are some of the things Moms typically worry about:
Normal Baby –
- poop – more than 4 a day is too many
- temperature – normal range: 97 – 100.3 F, over 100.4 rectally is a fever
- appetite – babies have natural ability to determine how much food they need
- heart rate – see chart below for child vitals
- development milestones – when to see firsts (accomplishments like walking)
- development stages – infancy, toddler, etc.
- development 1 to 12 months – guidelines for stages and milestones
Don’t Worry About What Others Think
All moms worry about their children, constantly. They want to be a good mothers. They want to do what is best for their children. But a word of warning. Don’t let your own mother or mother-in-law influence you too much.
Sure, they may mean well. However being that every baby is different their advice won’t always be helpful. Sometimes, you just want to tell them to shut up!
You are not doing anything wrong. You won’t permanently scar your child for the rest of their life. (That comes when they are teenagers!)
How can I say this with confidence? Simple, because you are here. Taking time to learn more about your child’s growth and development. Showing me that you care about how you raise your child.
So next time your mother-in-law re-lives what her baby boy did at a certain age, laugh and enjoy the story. Cherish it for what it is. Then say with confidence “Every baby develops at their own pace. Mom, I love you but I got this.”
Google Is NOT Your Friend!
This is the only time you will EVER hear me saying this. Given that my background is building blogs, my first instinct is to Google it. However this can be a huge source of confusion. Especially for new, nervous moms. During your pregnancy and baby’s first year, you should limit your access to Google search.
Your mind is wonderfully clever with playing tricks on you. It’ll take the symptoms you read on Google and you’ll see it in your baby. The tricks your mind will play on you will be very convincing. It’ll have you spinning your wheels like a hamster on an exercise wheel.
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Some people are just natural worry warts. Can you change that thought process? Possibly not, but there are things you can do to stop worry in it’s tracks.
Do you play the “what if” game? Next time you think what if, follow the thought process through to the end. Find out what the consequences would be.
“What if my baby gets mad and holds his/her breath?” Then what? Poor child will turn a little blue in the face and pass out. Then what? Your baby might be unconscious but they definitely will start breathing again.
You can apply this thought process to any situation in life as well. Follow the thought through to the consequences and often you will see there is nothing to really worry about to begin with. Kids are amazing in they are able to recover from the most amazing circumstances.
Stop worrying about what is normal and enjoy the blessings in your life.