Is it Ever Okay to Hit a Woman?

4056

When is it okay to hit a woman? Is it ever okay to hit a woman? There has been a lot of debate on this subject this year. There have been many news stories. This is because of celebrity involvement. But abuse has been an issue for a long time. Why does it always take celebrities to get important subjects in the news?

First let me get my opinion out of the way. I happen to agree with Whoopi.

This is not the first time she has expressed this opinion. It was also brought up when the videos came out of Ray Rice knocking his then fiance out. Here is what was said then:

Goldberg said on “The View” that no woman should be “surprised” if she hits a man and he hits back.

“If you hit somebody, you cannot be sure you are not going to get hit back!” Goldberg said, adding that women should be taught not to provoke men and expect that they will just take it.

I think we expect too much from even the men with the best of character. No one is perfect. I know if someone was in my face and then hit me, I would NOT just stand there. Would you?

Why then do we expect it from men? Why are we not speaking out about the behavior of these women? You want to be outraged that a man has raised his hands to a woman but nothing is said of the deterioration of the woman’s actions.

Legal Defense

womenviolenceequaltreatmentBack to my original question, is it ever okay to hit a woman? The legal answer is “yes.” It is legal if it’s in self-defense or in defense of others. There is no gender exception to the right to self-defense. If men couldn’t use self-defense against women, that would violate equal protection.

Let us do some hypothetical questions. What if a woman were about to hit your child with a rock? What if a woman were beating a dog with a tire iron? What if a woman was punching on a man in a wheel chair? Would you just let it happen because she is a woman?

Let us also not forget that not all women are physically inferior to men. We are all made up of different shapes and sizes. Personally, with my build and training, I know I could hold my own if attacked by male or female. That doesn’t mean I would go on the offensive everywhere I go.

Now don’t get all in an uproar and say I am okay with men hitting women. That is not what I am saying at all. NO person should hit ANYONE. EVER.

womenselfdefenseI just agree with Whoopi in saying you cannot get in a man’s face (or a woman’s for that matter) and think they won’t react. You have made an error in judgement and you will most likely pay for it.

Women have cried out for equal rights. They want to be in the army, yet they want safer and easier jobs. They want to say whatever they want and do whatever they want, including cheat and abandon and neglect partners and children, with no real consequence.

They want to hit, and not get hit back. Some women now think they are superior to men and only because they have been raised to believe a man has no recourse to their ignorant behavior. I’m not saying a man should be a cowardly SOB and hit a woman to make him feel tough, nor at the first hint of an argument.

Woman should do any job, do anything they like, but live their lives as good and respectful as they want men to. Don’t speak to men like crap, treat them like crap, or assault them and think you should not be treated the same.

If you are the victim of domestic violence, I do have another article with excellence resources listed to assist you.

30 COMMENTS

    • You have done a great job bringing to discussion a highly controversial topic that concerns everybody, both women and men. You are right. If we women want to have equal rights we must equally respect the people around us, be them children or men. We can’t expect respect if we don’t offer it. Thanks for sharing! Blessings!
      Hilda

  1. I totally agree with you here, Angela. Sometimes, it is necessary to hit in a defensive mode and nearly always in a post-feminist culture, no amount of video or audio documentation will hold up.

    I, as a man, HATE to be provoked and be trapped with the idea that I can’t respond without fierce retaliation. It’s a very well written post with a good usage of images.

    • Hi Norm,
      Thank you for your thoughts. I agree that some women take feminism to the extreme and are hypocritical about it.
      Angela

  2. Good post. We always need to remember domestic violence can be either side as well as emotional. I was a victim of the emotional side. Which is much harder to prove since there is no visible evidence.

    • Hi Ken,
      Yes, it is important to remember that domestic violence is on both genders. Physical, mental and emotional abuse are ALL wrong. You spoke in the past tense, I do hope you were able to get out of your abusive situation. I included a link at the end if you or anyone you know needs help.
      Angela

  3. Wow what a thought provoking piece. I always thought that is it not okay ever for a man to hit a woman, but this definitely puts things in to perspective. NO person should hit ANYONE. EVER. Well written. Thank you for sharing.

    • Hi Viola,
      Thank you for reading. Yes, times have changed. Men should not hit women but it is also true that no one should hit anyone. I think video games have somewhat desensitized us to a degree.
      Angela

  4. Wow…what a controversial topic to talk about and I’m sure you’ll get a lot of strong responses for this one! As a former police officer, I have seen many men arrested for domestic violence. I’ve also seen women arrested for assaulting their male partner too, though not as frequently. Personally, I only believe in hitting someone out of self-defence and only as a very last resort. If there is a way to de-escalate the situation without the use of violence, then those strategies should be used first. Whether it’s a man hitting a woman, a woman hitting a man, a man hitting a man, or a woman hitting a woman…none of it is okay in my opinion, unless it’s the last resort in self-defence. I also don’t believe in spanking children…but that’s a whole different controversial issue!

    • Hi Jennifer,
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I agree with you. I worked in corrections for 10 years myself. I also believe in spanking and wrote an article about that as well. It is a while other controversial issue!
      Angela

  5. Hi Angela
    You’ve raised some good points here and they should be given serious thought by both men and women. Regardless of gender, we don’t have the right to taunt another. If we do that, then we have to expect possible consequences of our actions. I also think that some women expect men to exhibit a certain level of self-control even when they are taunting them and sometimes those two things just don’t go together. Great post!

    • Hi Vanessa,
      Exactly my point. Why should we expect someone to exhibit poised behavior when we act brutish.
      Angela

  6. Very interesting read! I agree that hitting anyone is wrong. I saw a woman on a show the other day that who was so mean to her husband, and he just took it, even when she hit him. She should not be surprised if one day he fights back. Self defense is the same no matter who you are.

    • Hi Amanda,
      That is incredible. That man showed amazing restraint. But not all men are like him and women should keep that in mind.
      Angela

  7. I agree that it’s okay to hit a woman in self-defense. It’s not really fair to expect men to never hit back based on “women are physically weaker”. If you look at men, they all have varying strengths among themselves too, but no one goes into an uproar if a skinny guy gets punched back for bullying another man.
    We wouldn’t have this problem if people could learn to RESPECT each other and communicate properly. Then, you would never resort to hitting and could solve problems in a non-violent way.

  8. another great post and I do not think a man should ever hit a woman no matter what I know because I had 8 stiches in my head when I was young and in the navy and a women was drunk and hit me with a pool cue and I still would not hit her because I just could not bring myself to cause her harm

  9. I was in a marriage for 4 years. My exwife and I were dating for 6 years before we decided to tie the knot.

    Never once did I laid a hand on her, even when there were times that she got really out of control in terms of her attitude towards me.

    Even with the arrival of the kid, things got really testy for us as a couple. I mean, as a married couple, there’s supposed to be no issues that can’t be solved, no mountain too high to climb… What i’m trying to elaborate here is that the challenges we faced were so so great that given any other prick, violence would have for sure ensued.

    I maintained this principle of mine that women need to be treated with respect. Whatever problem you may encounter, violence is never the answer. Two wrongs doesn’t solve the issue!

    For the guys reading this:- treat your women in your life(mom included) with respect, no matter how much they have wronged you.

    Great awareness outreach Angela!
    Cheers.
    Nas aka (WickedM.)

    • Hi Nas,
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is important for us all to remember to respect the women in our lives.
      Angela

    • Hi John,
      You are absolutely right! It is never okay to hit a woman, but it is also never okay to hit anyone else.
      Angela

  10. Thank you for sharing this article. As a survivor of domestic violence I found it quite interesting. I personally do not believe it is ok to hit a woman and I also do not agree it is ok to hit a man. Violence is a crime and should be treated as such. We all have the right to feel safe and secure in this world.

    Self defence is a different issue because it is not hitting because of just being abusive. It is when there is someone coming at us and we need to protect ourselves. Hopefully someday we can evolve into a higher level of consciousness where we stop using violence. Wish you all the best.

    • Hi Abigail,
      It is great to hear you say you are a survivor – you were able to get out! I agree totally, it is not okay to hit anyone. Self defense is a whole different matter.
      Angela

  11. I agree with this. There should be no reason for anyone to be violent towards anyone no matter who you are. Gender doesn’t really have anything to do with it. I’ve seen a lot of hypocritical views on this, where woman should be treated equal, yet are surprised that when they get violent and someone bites back.

    I also get annoyed often when I see these videos, you notice that the person is taking the video, yet isn’t actually doing anything to help stop the situation that could be prevented a lot of the time.

    • Hi Vince,
      No, there is no reason for any of us to get violent. I really think video games are partly to blame for desensitizing some people. I agree with you about videos. It amazes me that someone is just standing there recording.
      Angela

LEAVE A REPLY

*